47 Ronin: A Review

This review contains information that may be considered spoilers. But seriously, if you’re familiar with this genre, you probably know what’s coming anyway.

47 Ronin is classic Asian revenge tragedy. Here's the basic plot: Lord Asano of Ako comes across a young boy (Kai) in the forest and adopts him as his ward, much to the chagrin of some of his Samurai, who consider Eurasians to be of a lower class. Many years later, Asano holds a tournament to welcome the Shogun of Ako. Lord Kira of a rival kingdom is also guest. Through a series of unfortunate events, Asano is dishonoured before the Emperor, and must take his own life to retain the honour of his men. Kira steps in, takes the Asano's daughter, and disbands Asano's Samurai as Ronin: master-less Samurai. Kai is sold into slavery, and Oishi – Asano's chief Samurai – is thrown into a pit for a year in an attempt to break his spirit.

Fast forward to a year later, and Oishi is released from his prison. His resolve is strengthened, and he seeks revenge on Kira, specifically disobeying the orders of the Shogun. Honour is a greater motivator than the will to live. Oishi finds the former Samurai of Asano – now all Ronin – and busts Kai out of the slave pits on the Dutch Isles. Together they acquire weapons and storm Lord Kira's palace to slay the evil-doers, get the girl, and regain Asano's honour.

I wanted to hate this film. I really, really did, because it had all the elements of stuff I detest: foreign accents substituted for actual language; historicity embellished with supernatural elements; Keanu Reeves attempting to act. You get the idea.

It is about as true to the story on which it was based as Pirates of the Caribbean is a true representation of European trade wars in the 1700s. However, when recent films have attempted to suggest Robin Hood signed the Magna Carta or Abraham Lincoln fought vampires as well as slavery, putting a few dragons and demons into Feudal Japan isn't exactly worthy of tossing popcorn at the screen.

As far as I know, this was based on a much-loved legend that is as pivotal to the forging of Japan as the rape of the Sabine women is to the establishment of Rome.

I enjoyed the world that was presented to me – magic and all. Witches, demons, dragons – all these things added, but they were not pivotal to the overarching plot, nor were they the focus of the film. 47 Ronin plays to the themes and tropes of the genre to which it pays homage: a forbidden love; overcoming differences to battle a greater threat; honour; righting wrongs. It didn't even shy away from an ending that by all rights could have been changed to give a Western audience a happily ever after. The Ronin know that even if they restore the honour of Asano, they are all doomed by their disobedience of the Shogun's command.

The effects are top-notch. Set replacement, colour grading, CGI and practical effects all blend so seamlessly – but this is a given nowadays, or at least it should be. As for Keanu…well, the guy's wooden. He's not displayed emotional range since Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure but this role does not demand anything more than looking hard done by, taking knocks, and expressions of kick arse determination, which Keanu's been doing since The Matrix.

While the film feels epic it's barely two hours long. I pondered how this might play in Japanese theatres, if they'd be embarrassed by a Western take on their much-loved mythology. I feel a sense of wrongness in my bones about this, and I know there's a case to be made about white-washing the stories of other cultures...but dammit, this is one of those guilty pleasure movies you'll secretly enjoy, even if you hate on it just to sound cool.

47 Ronin is currently in cinemas through Universal.

-Paul Caggegi

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Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Reviewed

When I first heard that Peter Jackson would be making The Hobbit into a prequel film his Lord of the Rings series, I was excited. When I heard there was enough material to fill two films, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. When I heard it was going to be a trilogy, I became a little sceptical.

I'll admit I've not read the book since high school, and in the context of having read The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Silmarillion, it's a bit of a blur as to what was The Hobbit and was was added from the overarching lore. However, if my shoddy memory serves, the basic premise is that a homebody gets talked into going on a treasure-hunting adventure with a bunch of fun-loving Dwarves, serving to illustrate that the smarts of an unlikely hero can win the day.

Thus far the movies have made Bilbo (Martin Freeman) a bit player in the larger story, which is now more about a disenfranchised people questing to reclaim their homeland from a dragon, and redeem themselves from a fall-from-grace.

While this second Hobbit film is, in some respects, better than the first, I found it to be riddled with pointless scenes. For much of the film I truly wondered where this garden path was leading me, desperately seeking some sort of arc in the story. With no beginning and a cliff-hanger ending I find the pursuit of a grand finale, some 12 months away, a flimsy excuse for stringing together a bunch of disconnected scenes of our heroes’ quest to the Lonely Mountain.

In The Desolation of Smaug we continue to explore Middle-Earth with our heroes who are still being pursued by the pack of Orcs that found them at the end of An Unexpected Journey. They encounter Beorn (Mikael Persbrandt) - a were-bear and giant spiders, and are captured by the Elves of Mirkwood Forest, only to escape and be smuggled into Lake-town by Bard (Luke Evans).

Familiar LOTR tropes are rehashed but not built on or treated in any unique way: Elves still hate Dwarves; if you're cut by a Morgul blade, you need Kingsfoil (a weed) and Elven magic to heal the wound. Yep, we know.

Unfortunately, neither are the characters progressed much here, rather passing relatively unaffected from ordeal to ordeal. Instead, most seem to serve a function: Balin (Ken Scott) is the wise advice-giver and problem-solver, Thorin (Richard Armitage) plays brooding hero, Kili (Aidin Turner) provides some comic-relief, and poor Bilbo has been demoted from titular protagonist to ‘that guy who'll always get them out of trouble’.

Despite this, it does all seem worth it when our band of heroes finally reaches the Lonely Mountain and encounter Smaug the Dragon (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch).

By this stage in the film I had a serious need to pee. But from the moment Bilbo entered the cave of riches and awoke the slumbering, smooth-talking dragon, every scene featuring this amazingly realised character was worth crossing my legs for.

It is here that the film really begins to shine. Perhaps the dialogue is lifted wholesale from Tolkien’s original, or maybe it’s because Bilbo is finally given a chance to talk rather than bumble along, but something changes and the film is all the better for it.

The Hobbit by Paul Caggegi (http://processdiary.com/)

Unsurprisingly, The Desolation of Smaug ends on a cliff-hanger which will leave you wandering exactly how they are going to fill another 2 to 3 hours with what seems to be a pretty succinct set up of an epic battle. But given much of these prequels have been consciously made to tie in directly to the LOTR films I'm pretty sure Jackson figured it all out years ago.

All in all, I am glad I saw it, even if I did risk a bladder infection. As with each of Jackson’s interpretations there are plenty of beautiful moments, both visually and emotionally. And despite some pithy dialogue we get to escape to Middle-Earth for yet another few hours. It is spectacular but certainly feels drawn out, maybe we didn’t need that second breakfast after all.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is in cinemas from Boxing Day.

-Paul Caggegi

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R.I.P.D. Off

R.I.P.D. (Rest In Peace Department) or ‘Men in Black from beyond the grave’ is based on a graphic novel of the same name, which I'd never heard of before the movie. Nowadays whenever someone tells me ‘hey, it's based on a graphic novel’, it’s with some trepidation that I go along, and I almost always leave the theatre of the opinion that it should have stayed a graphic novel.

Look, it isn't all crap. The internal consistency of the R.I.P.D. world is solid, the acting is ok, and there are a couple of neat action scenes. But that's all the nice it's gonna get from me.

Here’s the low down: Some time in the past, Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) and partner Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon) stumbled upon some gold during a drug bust and split the findings. Walker is now apprehensive and wants to turn it in. While on a raid, Hayes corners Walker, reveals that he can't let him handover the gold, and kills him.

On his way to eternal judgement, Walker is yanked from his ascension and given a job tracking down ‘Deados’ (spirits that somehow slipped through the system and continue to walk the Earth avoiding judgement) to arrest them for processing. He is partnered with a cranky old Marshall from the 1800s who prefers to work alone (Jeff Bridges). The two must track down and arrest rogue Deados while disguised as a senile Asian man and a hooker, which is played for a few cheap laughs that quickly wear thin.

Deados look like any average human, but are really just bad CGI in disguise, which, when they get a whiff of curry powder, go all Jar-Jar Binks and gimmick out for your 3D viewing pleasure.

What begins as an interesting premise quickly degenerates into a film that's confused about how to shoe-horn adult themes, like drug busts, death and rampaging destruction, into kid-friendly Disney-esque slapstick. It plays on so many conventions you can almost hear the committee decisions that went into every scene. Hero had a wife he loved? Boo-hoo. His ex-partner turns out to be the Big Bad? Surprise. Cops are taken off the case only to disobey a direct order and solve it anyway? I now believe lazy film-makers do this just to fast-track a resolution.

What actually bugs me the most about R.I.P.D., though, is the CGI. It is a real step back in technique and technology. The design of the Deados makes no sense and when one has been revealed it isn't so much scary as annoyingly stupid. They are lumbering buffoons, not fear-inducing zombie thugs, which is what I think they were going for.

If you do inflict this film on yourself, you'll walk out wondering wha..? Huh? I... no... wha..?

You have been warned.

R.I.P.D is currently in cinemas.

-Paul Caggegi

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