Don't Mention the Election

First let me be clear, I don’t vote based on who I voted for last time. I believe political parties change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. When it comes down to who has my vote I look for real change, not just change to the name of the person running things. Real change.

For me, this year, it was marriage equity that tipped the scale. As a man who has found the woman of his dreams through an almost When Harry Met Sally series of fortunate events and will marry in December, I really wanted to see that basic human right extended to any two people who love each other. Not only love each other, but feel loved by their country and its representatives.

Of course there are other considerations: fast internet, investment in infrastructure, and the treatment of refugees or as our new Prime Minister calls them - ‘boat people’. Everyone has to weight these up when they decide how to vote. But here’s the thing, your vote is not just about you. It’s about what’s best for the country and its people. All of its people.

You could say that I expected everyone to vote like me, but it’s not true, I expected them to vote for what was right. As a result of the election I got angry. And when I mentioned on Facebook that I was shocked to find that a relative had voted for the Liberals, they started coming out of the woodwork. My cousin attacked me for calling my relatives idiots, saying that I had no real world experience, and that I didn’t run a business so how could I possibly know what it’s like, out there, in the real world? As a freelance artist and self-publisher, how could I possibly know?

My aunt popped up and demanded that I apologise to my hard working relatives, who never received handouts and work bloody hard for everything they have. I did. I said I was sorry they voted against marriage equality, infrastructure investment and a sensible approach to the economy.

In that moment I remembered a saying my father used to apply to my aunt: she could fall head first into a bucket of shit and come out with a gold nugget between her teeth. A colourful image, but very apt. I am not saying that they haven’t worked hard as I know they have and do, but their success has had a great deal to do with being in the right place at the right time. The part about never taking handouts is ridiculous. We all have healthcare, paid parental leave, assistance one way or another. I am sure they have at some point taken some form of benefit. But apparently, according to my aunt, anyone who ever took money from the government is a crook; how very Gina of her.

The one I fail to understand is my own sister, who voted Liberal because Labor was rumoured to be decommissioning the Air Force base where her partner is employed, which would force them to move again. The problem I have with this logic is that, regardless of location, for as long as he wants to work for the RAAF he has a job. So is it about the cost of moving? With moves of Defence Force personnel paid for by tax payers, no, that can’t be it. In fact, she doesn’t even have to do the packing. I just don’t get it.

So, while I was utterly disappointed with Australia over the weekend, I was even moreso with my family. It very quickly became apparently to me that their thinking was misinformed, selfishly motivated and a vote for change for its own sake, the latter of which to me is like eating horse shit because you don’t like chicken. Extreme, to say the least.

You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them; you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand. Thank you Michael Caine’s Alfred Pennyworth in The Dark Knight.

The icing on the social media outrage cake though, did not come from family but an old school friend’s mum. Paraphrased below, I think succinctly conveyed the essence of what was wrong with the Australian economy under the Labor Government. See my tongue firmly in my cheek, hers not so much.

I have a property in Spain and although unemployment is high there, my place overlooking the Mediterranean Sea costs me much less in rates and electricity than here, and the place in Spain is worth two thirds of mine here, yet my electricity here is three times the price and there’s only me…two people rent my place in Spain and my rates cost me the same for a quarter as what I pay for a month here and I’ve got a much better view in Spain.

My cousin in England just bought a 2006 Jaguar at the equivalent of $26,000, that same car here is $95,000 due to luxury tax. It only costs approximately $5,000 in shipping costs, so who gets the rest, Rudd wasn’t giving it to the gays towards their marriage.

An Angus steak costs less in the UK and Spain than here, half as much. Then, I obtain cigarettes in Gibraltar (tax free) for $20 per carton, what do they cost here? Not that I smoke, but many do and they can if they wish, but the Labor government changed the law in September last year, we can only bring in two packets now, rather than two cartons. I’ve taken a third pay cut to obtain work and I don’t complain, instead I vote for what is good for this country and if Labor had got in, my dogs and I were going to get out. Might still do if the poor Libs can’t get this debt ridden country out of the shit quick enough. Australia the lucky country my arse!

My heart weeps.

-Paul Briske